


The Last Something that Meant Anything

by Kelly_Namikaze



Series: Adam's Song [8]
Category: Batman - Fandom, Under the Red Hood
Genre: Cutting, Gen, Gore, Sad, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 04:23:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12646014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelly_Namikaze/pseuds/Kelly_Namikaze
Summary: Bruce gets a call from Oracle on the way back from Joker’s murder scene. It leads him to the red hood, but ina different way then expected.





	The Last Something that Meant Anything

**Author's Note:**

> So guys, this is my second last one shot in this series. I’m happy that you guys seem to like it so far! I’ve made my decision on if Jay lives or not, which is good, I guess. Anyways, enjoy!

 

Bruce sat in front of the computer in the cave, cowl off, analyzing some evidence from his most recent case. He hadn’t really left the cave for more than a few hours at a time, only leaving for patrol. He had to keep busy.

“ _Bruce, he’s flatlining!_ ”

He couldn’t leave, he had to be there when he woke up.

If he woke up.

“ _He’s losing too much blood, I don’t think he’ll make it._ ”

———

Bruce was at Arkham, wrapping up his preliminary investigation of the Joker’s apparent murder when Oracle's voice came over the comms.

“Guys, check on Red Hood, I think he's in trouble, I'm tracking his location now.” The sound of keys clicking rapidly was also audible. “He's at the his warehouse, _please_ hurry.”

Nightwing, who was already most likely at the cave, as he had sent him home earlier than himself, responded first. “Are you sure that's he's in trouble, I would think that he'd be doing a jig.” He sounded unsure himself.

  
“ _Positive_. Please, just check, that's all I ask.” She sounded so desperate in that moment, Bruce didn’t tell her she was being paranoid. (The fact that he worries about Jason had nothing to do with it, he told himself. Nothing at _all_.)

“Alright, I'll let you know what I find.” He left after giving his regards to the commissioner, heading to the coordinates he was given.

He got to the warehouse, letting Barbara know when he entered. His worry heightened when he realized he wasn’t in the main room. _He’s just in his bedroom_. He scolded himself mentally. Until he heard the clatter of metal bouncing off porcelain. “He isn't in the main room, I can hear something coming from a side room. Approaching it now.” He told her, slowly walking over to the side room. He pushed the door open as quietly as possible, before seeing something had hoped he would never see again.

“Oh dear lord.” He whispered, walking silently to the tub at the other end of the bathroom. Jason lay in the tub, left arm bleeding so heavily that he couldn’t tell _what_ the problem was, and Bruce wanted to scream.

So he did.

“ _Jason_!”

Oracle tried to head off the incoming panic. “B, report. What’s going on?”

“He's in the bathtub, and, there's just so much blood, he's covered in it.” He tried to stop his hands from shaking, but it seemed to be a losing battle.

“B, _calm down_ , you know the drill, I have Wing on his way, he'll be there in two minutes.” He didn’t want to calm down, his _son_ , was bleeding out in front of him and he wasn't doing anything!

He tried to piece together what had happened, and he almost blanched at the knife sitting on the floor. That must’ve been where the noise came from. “Oracle, the blood is coming from his arms, he has a knife on him!” Cold realization hit when he put it together. “He sliced open his arms.” He no longer had any panic, the mask was on, and no emotion was visible. Jason would call it compartmentalizing at its finest.

  
“Okay, is there anything you need me to do?” She asked, and Batman shook his head, before remembering that she couldn’t see him.

The roar of the Batmobile sounded just outside. “No. Nightwing is here. We'll let you know when we have him stable.” He picked his son up, and exited the warehouse. Nightwing was there, and his face paled as he saw the state he was in.

“Wait, what do you mean _stable_? Is he not stable? B?” Oracle’s voice crackled over the comms, and he turned them off, not needing the distraction.

“Nightwing, we need to get to the cave, _now_. Call Alfred to get the medbay ready. We’re picking up Leslie on the way.” Batman growled, which seemed to set the stunned man into a flurry of action.

Nightwing jumped into the driver's seat, throwing the emergency med kit into the back as he called Alfred.

Batman only hoped that he wouldn’t have to lose the same son twice.

——-

Bruce hadn’t had a chance to listen to the messages on his phone until Steph had barged into the cave two days after the incident, screaming at him, throwing his civilian phone at him so hard he was surprised it didn’t crack.

After chucking at him, she walked up to where he sat in his chair, and poked his chest threateningly. “When he wakes up, you _fix_ this. And he will wake up. Because if he doesn’t, I _will_ make your life a living hell.” She left then, swirling her cape in a small flourish.

He stared down at the phone in his hand, trying to process what just happened, when he noticed that there were quite a few voicemails on his phone. Now, that in and of itself wasn’t odd, but he went through them anyway, since he needed to do something to keep his mind off the body lying just across the cave.

Most of them were what he expected, business calls and such, until he heard the oldest one, from two days ago. He almost choked when he heard the voice, normally so angry, sound almost caring.

“Hey, B.”

_When Bruce put him down he was covered in Jason’s, in his son's blood and he wanted it off-_

“I know it’s been awhile since we’ve had an actual conversation that didn’t involve screaming, but I guess there’s just too much bad blood between us. Anyways, I wanted to say, first and foremost, I love you.”

_Bruce took deep breaths as Jason flatlined again-_

“I do. And the demon spawn, the replacement, blondie, Cass, golden boy, barbie, and Alfie, but you knew that. He’s always been my favourite. But that’s not why I’m calling. B, I’ve done things. Bad things. Things that will send me to hell and condemn me when I die. And most of it started because I stole those tires on that fateful night in Crime Alley.”

_This is my fault, Bruce chanted in his head as they stitched Jason’s arms-_

“I will _never_ regret it, though. I will never regret the fact that you gave me a home, a purpose, and made me fly. You know what I miss most about being Robin? The magic that comes with it. It’s like Peter Pan, you know the story, right? That was one of the first books I read when I lived in the manor. I loved reading, and my favourite memories were when you read to me when I was to sick to focus properly. You know what? I probably deserve what my life has given me. After all, with the happiness I got, and still turning out to be a shitty person? I had all this pain coming.”

_Jason didn’t deserve this, he never deserved this-_

“You’re not a bad father Bruce, despite what I know you think, probably reinforced by me, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for a _lot_. But you ain’t a bad dad. You could be better, but that’s every parent. Especially a single one with children that all have issues. Honestly, I’m surprised we ain’t worse.” He gave a dry chuckle.

_How could he let his kids get caught up in his mission-_

“I’m getting off topic. Look, Bruce, here’s the thing. I’m going to die tonight, and that’s fact.” His voice was flat here, as if he was giving a mission report.

_He didn’t have a heartbeat again and it was taking too long to come back-_

“And I know that once celebrations are over, you’re gonna have to do something with m’ corpse. Do me a final favour, eh? Cremate me. I can’t take climbing out of my grave again, I still avoid gardening because of it. That way, when I’m gone, I can stay where I’m supposed to be. I was never meant to come back, and I’m sorry that I hurt the family in the process. But I’m gonna go back now, so don’t worry about it.” His voice sounded watery, as if he was holding back tears.

_He could never wash the blood that coated his arms to his elbows away-_

“I have one last call to make, so I gotta leave soon, but I have something for ya. It’s in the place I’m at right now, actually. In the kitchen, behind the flour on the top shelf of the green cabinet, is a little something I’ve hung onto for a long time. I think that it’s time to let it go to someone who will actually use it. Don’t worry, you’ll know what it is.”

_He was stable but Leslie didn’t know how long it would take for him to wake up-_

“So, since you’re an old man, I’ll give you a recap. I love you, I’m sorry, on the top shelf of the green cabinet. See ya later, _**Dad**_.” Jason’s voice broke on the last word.

_He wasn’t a father-_

_He was a failure._

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: in Winnipeg, on top of the parliament building, is a golden boy. I just thought it was cool considering what Jay calls Dick.


End file.
